Right now I am at Lambert Airport waiting to board the airplane for Chicago and then Chicago to Tokyo.

I totally feel unprepared for this.  It feels like all of this crept up on me so fast.  To be completely honest though, I don’t really think there was truly any real amount of preparing to make me feel secure about leaving to Tokyo.  I think I did my best and whatever items I need and such, I know my parents are there for me.

Leaving this morning was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I tried to hold back tears as my mom called my name and asked me if I had everything that I needed to leave.  I told her I thought so.  But for some reason I really couldn’t look her in the face.  It just made me so sad. We embraced and she told me how much she loved me.  It really made me start thinking and I had even considered saying thats it was okay-I could tell my homestay mom, the school, and everyone else waiting for me that this was a mistake and I was truly sorry for the inconvenience but I simply could not leave my family.

My dad seemed stopped me for a hug to begging me to be careful.  I know its really hard for him even if he isn’t good at expressing his feelings.

I wish I had more sleep because then I felt like I would have been more talkative and express in my feelings in letting everyone know just how hard this was for me also.

Saying goodbye to Gordon was even worse.  When he drove me to the airport there was nothing but silence. I didn’t know what to say without choking up inside.  Now I wish I had said more.  We hugged and he set me on my way.  He was right I think though. Sure this was going to be a challenge and an adjustment but once I got through that period it would be something I would cherish forever.

My family is just a Skype call or email away.  Same with all my friends.

I hope I get visitors soon and I am looking forward to coming back to the States to visit every now and again.

Thanks mom, dad, Gordon, and the rest of my family and friends for helping my dreams come true.  We did it, guys.

Now here comes the hard part, lol.